Have you ever heard someone use the sentence? "He or she is the full package." I know I have. Who doesn't want the full package?? Over the years what I see as the full
Package criteria has definitely changed. In college, the first thing I noticed was the way it was wrapped. I think most of us tend to look at the wrapping first, then I looked at potential. Crazy right? I seriously use to think... With my help, he will really be great. I literally have thought before I could get someone more success, mAybe help them live A better life, or I even have gone as far to believe I could help them through some crisis or addiction, hence why I myself needed to be working on my own package and letting them do the same. We cannot fix, help, save, or change anyone. That is up to God and that person only when they are willing and able. The fact that I use to think I was someones answer is crazy to me now that I know what I know. When I think I can fix someone else, that's when I need to look long and hard in the mirror, and work on myself.
Have you ever been to a dirty Santa party? Everyone usually goes for the cutest wrap job first. It seems that I always have the worst luck in that game. I open the one with the pretty bow, the cute paper and I wind up with a brownie baking pan while The paper sack had a Victoria's Secret gift card in it. My mom use to always say, you can't judge a book by its cover! There is a lot of truth in it. Sometimes the prettiest packages come with some really messed up stuff in that pretty box. Although, I am still hoping for a tall, fit, 40 year old hottie, I know that the wrapping paper isn't what counts!! It's just going to be my bonus for holding out for Mr.Right.
So to me there are three things that make me a total package. Now notice I said me, because if I intend to find another total package, I have to be one first. Because as soon as I find one, and I'm not the real deal, guess what happens? Not much long term. Friends this may sound crazy, but we attract what we ourselves are unless of course we are really good at pretending we are something we are not. You know those people. They go from toasting wine selfies to Java with Jesus profiles all to impress this package they are interested in. But in time, It all comes out. No one can pretend to be something They are not forever. Or it could be we are simply lost. After my divorce, I realized quickly I had lost myself so I had to find me again. Hence why You guys know I'm
Not a fan of the rebound relationship.
One of my favorite movies is Runaway Bride. Julia Roberts character is always running away on the big day. When she finally meets her full package Richard Gere, he gets her. He sees the real her. So why does she run from him too? Because although he was the first one to really know her, she didn't know herself. How many times have you changed the team you like, the way you order your eggs, the hobbies or music you like to impress someone? So she ran this one last time to figure out how she actually liked her own
Eggs. Be sure to watch the movie. I don't want to give it all away.
If I don't know who I am, I honestly cannot have an honest healthy relationship.
So the three things I work on to keep myself in full package mode are Physical, mental, and spiritual growth.
Physically, I think it's important to be healthy! I'm just not ever going to be the girl who lets herself go!! Sorry if that sounds vain, but I simply take pride in eating clean with the occasional cupcakes and splurges, exercising and staying fit. It's just how I am Made. If I don't feel good about myself, who else will? To me the physical part is so much more than my legs rocking my cutoffs. Exercise makes me feel good and it gives me energy to do my life more fabulously!! Letting myself go just isn't an option. You have all seen the tshirt... Strong is the new skinny. Not everyone can be a size 2 and I have many beautiful strong physically in shape size 10 friends. Physical growth isn't about being a twig. It's a lifestyle change.
Mentally, I feel I need to stay focused on what's important in life which is me, myself, I and my kids. The quickest way to loose some mental stability is to be involved in everyone else's life or stalking their every post. So I read books, I participate in groups, I surround myself Around people who share my own beliefs and goals. We are only as good as the people we spend the most time with. Trust me. If you are always griping about how crazy your friends or significant people in your life are, then it's time you look in the mirror. If I am encircled in crazy, chances are I'm crazy. Mentally speaking I choose to set boundaries and stay away from drama, gossip, and crazy situations. Now we all
Have those friends who have a wild side. I am not saying to ditch her, just be mindful of what you begin to see as normal.
The key to it all of it for me is that spiritual part. Now I use to confuse religion with spirituality. Two totally different things altogether to me. Religion is great. I love my church. I love our traditions and our programs, but I can attend church my whole life and live right but never be spiritual. My spirituality is my existence. It's my peace my happiness and my serenity. It is my everything. It is what makes me the full package on most days. Progress not perfection people. It's my relationship with God. It's why I believe in His plan. It's why I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. It's why I trust that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad all for something. When I have a probleM
Or an obstacle it's my spirituality that reminds me I can't, He can, I'll let him!! Today, I prefer to Let Go and Let God do it for me or guide me. He is going to give me what I Need and if I stay out of his way then I may even get something even better than what I want. It's all
About trusting him, going to him, and patiently waiting on him to work things out. Now that doesn't mean I can just sit around. I have to participate in life to get these things, and I call it simply doing the Right things the best I can. Those things include taking care of myself, my kids, and being the best person I can be.
So I challenge you to check out your own
Package first. If your spouse isn't giving you what you want, then start giving them what you want. Make a list. Then become the list. If you are hoping to find your Perfect match, then Become your own perfect match, and it never hurts to come by frolic and let me help you wrap yourself up in the perfect wardrobe that reflects that total package you are or have become!!