As my kids 13th and 15th birthdays are creeping up on me, I am reminded of how fast they have grown up. I think back to those first few years, and if I could go back and tell myself anything, it would simply be "press play and Go."
I can recall days it seemed so hard to juggle two kids, single parenthood, a business, and all their activities. I can remember on some of those what I like to call "pity party" days, wishing I had a fast forward button. Wishing I could just forward it to easier times. Then there were the days, I call the "remorse days" I wanted to hit rewind and change the tone of my voice, the choice I made, or maybe just go back and be more attentive.
I think I finally realized the key to good parenting is to stay in that very moment. We only get 24 hours in every day. So a few years ago, I decided to stop wishing I would have done this or that differently. I stopped wishing the hard times away because guess what? 12 and 14 is just as hard as 2 and 4. It's just a different hard. Newsflash... Being a good parent isn't easy. Whether it's potty training, breastfeeding, Taking the right road by saying no, taking the extra job to pay for the lessons or sports they want to play, running them to games and practices, buying the gloves, bats, and shinguards, watching them date, or even just being the example of the person you want them to be. It's not easy to have these little lives in your hands, then to top it off you realize, they don't learn from what you tell them.... They learn from what you show them. They learn from your actions. So much of what they possess in their very minds and souls comes from us as their parents. Hence why it's so important as parents, we stay in the moment. We can't think too far ahead because the older they get, the scarier it gets. Nor can we look too far back. We need to be present so we don't miss what's going on In the now. I can't go back and change anything I did years ago or yesterday for that matter. But, I can take this parenting stuff one day at a time. I can spend less time on my phone and more time talking to my child. I can focus on doing the right things each day, realizing I'm not a professional parent. I am just a girl who loves her kids more than life and wants the best for them so all I can do is give them my best each day.
Some days my best is Going to get me in contention for parent of the year. Other days I'm going to feel defeated and suck it up, but in those defeated moments I'm Going to give myself a break because at that moment it is my best. There isn't a parent alive who doesn't want the very best for their kids. There isn't a parent alive that wants to screw up their kids. Every parent is doing their best with what they have. Some of us are just luckier than others!
Keep in mind, Kids learn so much from how we handle the bad moments. If we dwell on them, they will too. So Don't try to hit rewind. Don't long for fast forward. If u need a short pause.. Pause. It's ok. Take a much needed break. Do something for yourself. Refresh your sanity. Then press play and keep going. Just keep living and loving. Kids don't need perfect parents. Sorry to bust your bubble but, They don't exist. There is only one perfect Father and guess what? That perfect Man in the sky picked us to be our kids parents! What an honor. What a blessing! He's always there so when you need help... Go to him... Ask him to guide you and your kids and he will because we all belong to him. There are people he puts in your life, in your kids lives to help. Be selective with the people you bring in and out of their lives please, but I do believe It truly takes a village, and Ive always been a big part of that village!! I promise we get back everything we give away!! Life flies by and I plan to savor every moment left with my growing kids. My life and their lives are truly gifts from above that I am not going To take for granted with a bunch of should haves, could haves, or would haves!! I'm just simply pressing play and going and going with the very best I've got!!