Past The Pain


These ramblings of mine just hit me from many sources. This morning as I got on Facebook which has been addicting these past few days because I Love seeing all the Halloween costumes and smiling faces, I came across my..on this day post from a few years back. It's a little deep, but good!!! It reads... So I've come to the conclusion that people stay in pain until the pain they are in becomes greater than the pain they will face! No one forces us to remain in the pain! It is our own choice! People will do to you what you allow. They will rob you of what you are willing to give them! Things will and do change when and only when the changes begin with yourself!
I can actually remember the conversation that sparked this very post. As we walked the kids around to trick or treat, we talked about overcoming pain. I loved what he said about facing it so I posted about it in my words. I see so many women in my line of work in pain for various reasons. I myself spent a few years there. I found myself in a marriage with someone I couldn't fix. So instead of accepting it and focussing on the things I could change which involved myself and leaving the rest up to God, I tried Little by little to "fix" things which honestly put me In Gods way. Meanwhile my own pain, my own feelings were swept under the rug. I like to think of it as denying I was in denial. God has a plan for all of us and newsflash... It isn't ever going to involve me thinking I can change, save, or fix someone. I can remember telling people that he was ruining my life which now I find crazy. No one can ruin my day, my life, my moments unless I let them!!! It is painful to try to force someone to be what you think they should be or to force a relationship to work. What gives me the right to tell
Someone else how they should live their life? I once heard a wise person say, never do something for a grown up they can do for themselves. Guess what happens each time you do this? Little by little they loose dignity and a little part of you is lost. So I learned the power of the word no. I learned the power of change and it began with me. If I change then guess what happens? The people around me change. I am so grateful for the time God has given me to spend alone. I had to learn to focus on myself and my own happiness. I learned to love the life I was in which involved two amazing kids. After all as I have said many times. My kids will
Do as well as I do. I believe that they learn from my actions not what I tell
Them. So what have they learned from my experiences? They have learned to face their problems. They have learned to talk
About them. They have also learned that you can't fix inside pain with something on the outside. Why do people go from one relationship to another? Why do they abuse drugs? Why do they numb with alcohol? One reason... They are trying to fix the inside with an outside source.
The kids just finished Red ribbon week at school which Is informative when it comes To drugs. My kids got the facts which they need to know, But the best weapon, the best armor to
Such abuse is on the inside. It's learning not to sweep problems under the rug. It's getting over the loss or the break up. It's accepting the issue at hand and facing it. It's knowing God and knowing he has plans. It's knowing he loves you and wants more for you than you can imAgine. It's trust and faith. It's knowing When you can't, he can.
I have seen the havoc addiction reaks on a family. Over the past few years God has put many of these families in my path. I believe We are all
Doing the best we can with what we have. No one chooses that way of life. Good people make bad choices everyday. There is no love any greater. We don't cause it, we can't cure it, nor can we change it. So if we want more, if we want better, if we want to get past the pain wherever it comes from then we face it with one person at our side. And as crazy as it sounds that person isn't your best friend, it isn't the cute boy who you think will help you get over the last one, nor is it the local bartender. That person is God! Change begins with you and Him. Happiness is your choice. It's yours for the taking. God will
Place you where you need to be with the Angels he will send you and when he is done with you, everything will begin to fall
Into a better place. In closing I need to give credit where credit is due. I didn't learn any of this stuff from myself. God put people in my life who shared their experiences with me. I have learned nothing from listening to myself talk nor did I learn anything from all the people out there who loved to try to tell me what to do. Today I am grateful for every experience, good or bad I have had Along the way and so thankful for those of you who wow and amaze me with your experiences. Sharing our own experiences gives others hope which leads to happiness when and if we choose it!!

1 comment


  • JIll GAtlin

    Learning this myself….good stuff. Thanks for sharing.


Leave a comment