The Solution


I had a young lady come into my store yesterday who needed to talk. For some reason, it seems as if I have a sign on my forehead that says.. tell me your problems. Its been that way for as long as I can remember. As a young child, Maddox asked me once, “why do people Always tell you  their life stories Mom?”  I really  can’t answer that question, maybe some of you could. But, I do know that if someone feels like they can share part of their world with me, I’m going to listen and offer what hope, experience or encouragement I can. So this young lady is newly divorced and Trying her best to come back to what I call the land of the living! More times than not, a bad relationship or years of a bad marriage can and will suck the life out of you. It puts you in what I call survival mode. Its almost as if you are tiresomely treading water with your head just high enough for air. This creates problem after problem and will exhaust you. Some people choose to tread through most  of their life! Not me!! As sad or bad as it is when a marriage or a relationship ends, in many ways its as if right then the  life begins coming back into you. Like the big gasp we see in movies when someones life is saves from drowning. I am a big believer in healing from this kind of stuff! Ladies and gentlemen if you have been in a relationship that has sucked the life out of you, found yourself in multiple ones that have  done the very thing, or maybe you can’t seem to find happiness in any relationship. Well there is one problem here, literally one you can do anything about. Its you!! So  I can either focus on the problem. I can sit around and cry! Ask myself why. Wonder what I could or should have done differently or I can get a good cry and simply accept it! I don’t have to like it just accept it! Then I need to get out of the problem and get in the solution. What is the solution? Well part of the solution  is to let go! I let go of any illusions, regrets, and resentments. I let go of the idea that It was all my fault. Relationships are a two way street. It takes two to make one and it takes two to break one. The solution involves looking in the mirror! I need to look at my role and why I chose to allow myself to remain in a life sucking relationship. I need to fix what’s broken with me for that’s all I can do! When I suggested something for this sweet broken girl yesterday that I know would help her, She said something I believe a lot of people think! If I get help, then I will

Appear weak! Here is what I know! I have seen people get help from  the depths of addiction and get sober and there is nothing weak about that. That takes all the strength one can muster to walk into a room, sit in a circle and get honest! I’ve seen a woman Seek help from an abusive  marriage that was killing her inside and out. I watched her rise up, get out alive and prevail. That is superhero strength! I’ve seen men and women whose children are killing themselves with disease of addiction walk into a room and think someone would tell them how to fix their child only to find out they can only fix  themselves and l have watched them find the courage and strength to do it! In turn, it can and will help their child. Win win! So I say to you, there is nothing weak about getting the help you need! There is nothing weak about reaching out to others and finding out how they did what they have done!! Its easy to wallow in the problem! Its easy to sit around and cry and eat ice cream or in some cases get way too skinny! Its easy to push your issues under the rug and just go find another person to date. But, and a big BUT is is, there is nothing at all easy about getting out of the problem and moving into the solution whatever that may be! That is pure strength!! I’ve Often heard it said in dealing with pain, the only way through is through! With 100 % certainty I know that if I strive to be better, if I try to become the best version of me I can Be  then I will be living my life and doing  what I can to enjoy every moment! Life is  a gift we should treasure! A life well lived is full of love and laughter! We all deserve happiness! We all deserve someone who will wake up each day and love us! We all deserve to breathe in and breathe out easily! We deserve to enjoy the journey we are on. Life is hard, relationships are harder, and true love is hard to find. But until we can truly love who we are and work through our problems, I can promise you that when you keep doing the same things you keep getting the same things! Never feel weak for Getting help for you will stay weak if you don’t!! I think there is a song called only the strong shall survive! It should be only the strong live!  Help is there for you whatever your problems may be! So muster up all you’ve got left in you and  be strong enough to do what it takes and take your life back!! I promise it will be better than you could ever imagine!!! 


1 comment


  • Tammy

    It’s never too late to renew that teaching license! Happy Valentine’s Day!


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