About 7 years ago this lost young lady found her way into my store. She had a heavy heart and a lonely sadness about her, but she also had a happy spirit and a love for life. She had an optimistic mind and a strong faith, although she was lonely and so ready to meet her Prince Charming. Unfortunately, she had a list of frogs And war stories of heartbreaks. She just wanted a happily ever after and someone to love her. Well, as usual I listened to her and reminded her the same thing people had often reminded me, to stop trying so hard and wait for God's timing. Then I made sure she knew that I never like it when people say that to me either. As I myself tend to be very impatient. I told her a story of my own experience where I had no choice but to wait on God to give me a child and although it took almost 3 long years, I had the exact child I was meant to have then the next one came easily.
I shared with her that I too was hoping for my Prince having been divorced 4 years. We shared a laugh as I told her she sure had a better chance than I did since I had two kids and very little time to even go out and date.
Not long after that day, she came back into frolic with a skip in her step and a smile on her face. She had met "the one ." He was nothing like she had ever imagined, but everything she could ever want. When she told me how quickly they professed their love to one another, I had my doubts but being a fellow fairy tale fan, I was thrilled for her. Not long after the honeymoon phase of dating took place, she found herself in a situation she was in no way prepared for. To her total surprise, he was on drugs. How could she have missed something this big? Well my friends, love is blind, and if u fall
In love in five minutes then chances are you will miss some pretty big things, and we see what we want to see in these situations. My advice to her was to let him get the help needed and tell him to call
Her in a year. She wasn't having any part of that.
Now last I checked, prince charming didn't come on probation, needing money for fines, food, and finance nightmares. Last I checked Prince Charming didn't lie, cheat, and steal, but someone who is sick with the disease of alcoholism or addiction will do all of the above. Could he really be her Prince Charming? Actually, he was probably an awesome person and this precious young girl was able to see the good in him. So I challenged her to help herself, and I challenged her to change the things she could which was only herself and her actions. If she was going to stick around, she needed some armor for such a battle. Through the help of a support group , she began to change. As she changed, her actions changed and she learned to say no. She finally stopped enabling the Charming Prince who had quite the way to sweet talk
Her into most anything. She began to focus on Herself and her own issues. This led The Prince into his rock bottom, and he decided to get some help. She knew he was serious this time. He himself got in a program that changed his life. She knew that now they would live happily ever after.
Well, in love and life things happen and they didn't make it due to distance and other circumstances. For years she was hurt, but she pushed the pain aside.. she couldn't understand why he didn't choose her? After all they had been through, how could he abandon her? She continued to work on herself. She actually got happy alone. Eventually she dated, but it wasn't right. She couldn't open her heart for anyone else. She felt as if she would just love him this much forever and ultimately have to settle.
Just recently I was able to talk with her again. I explained to her that it wasn't that he didn't choose her. She wasn't there. He was in another town. He was a different person. She had too many expectations and she couldn't see past her own wants and needs. They actually didn't choose each other. The timing was off. Things just happened as they were meant to happen. Did he love her? You bet he did, and with every bit of his soul just as she loved him, but sometimes love needs to learn some lessons on its own. Sometimes God knows what we want isn't what we need at that time. She walked in my store just two days ago with quite a follow up.
On a cold February day, she opened her door and there he stood. He told her what she already knew, he didn't have closure either. They talked, cried, talked, and cried once again Going their seperate ways, but this time it was different. She decided to feel the prolonged pain. As Robert Frost has said, "The only way out is through." She has cried more tears than she knew she had. She has forgiven him and herself for what happened. She has accepted that it was all part of His plan. Her greatest fear was loving him forever and never being able to be with him. Her fears were holding her back so she had to choose to have faith with the help of that same support group. She finally accepted that she will love him forever, but she has to be open to Loving someone else. God has worked so much magic when it comes to both of them, and he put him back in her life for a reason. Today, she has let go of the old hopes and dreams and she has found new ones. She has faced the pain and the sadness. She has let go of the fears and trusting Gods will and way. She is just letting loving him be enough and believes God has a plan. She is letting God guide her to learn what she needs to learn. Friends, people change. People recover. Miracles happen everyday. Whether her happily ever after is with him or not, that really isn't the point of the story, but I can promise you this, I believe they both will live happily be it whoever they end up with. Letting go of someone you love so much is never easy, but it's really just about willingly giving it to God so life can naturally happen as it should.