If I can do it, you can too!!!
Now I'm not going to lie here or pretend that I don't I have days where I think to myself.... Is this really my life? Why wasn't I the girl in college who found the husband who gave her a couple kids, the relationship remained healthy, he maintained a good job where I could be the stay at home mom who got to do a couple fitness classes a day, have a lunch Birthday club, watch Good morning America, hit up TJ Maxx on shipment days, or who knows maybe even
Volunteer for the PTA.
Or possibly, I could have been the girl who had a husband and a career which meant we split not only bills, but all the trips to the Sportplex, games, or gymnastics practices. Oh and what if someone else would have been there all those years to help with discipline, bedtimes, baths, adolescence, or even simply to take the trash out? Well guess what.... this has not been my life! Yet, that was my plan. And ten years ago I made a decision that appeared to make my life fall apart.
My kids were 2 and 4, I literally had no other choice but to get out of my marriage! The story there can't be summarized to a blog, it's actually a really good book that I will one day finish writing, but The point here is I got thrown into single parenthood with two very young Kids, and it threw me for quite a loop.
So I have a friend who has recently been thrown into the same boat. She got a full time job for the first time in years and had to relocate. I recently checked in on her and she let me know they were doing it, but it was hard. My reply to her was this. If I can do it, you can too!! Yes, it's going to be hard. In all honestly, it's going to be one of the hardest things you ever do in your life. Your house won't always be clean, the laundry will pile up, there may
Be months you will need to call
The utilities and get an extension, there are days you will want to cry so just cry then move on. It's ok. There will be days, you wish you could just lay around, well that never happens. Theres going to be the moms who send out hundreds of group messages about projects or sleepovers and you will do good to read half of it. Then there's going to be the late nights where you are too tired to do the last pickup, but you'll have to go. It's all on you. But guess what? It is GOING to be one of the most rewarding things you Ever do in your life. Single parents in my opinion have double the duty but double the joy. Double the bills but double the return. We hear it all, we see it all, and guess what? Our kids are watching all
Of it and learning. I call it absorption. Now I could have laid down and done my best to just get by. But I have given my kids a great life by the grace of God and many angels along the way. I have the utmost respect for women and men who get up, get out there and show their kids exactly how it's done!
For some reason, God picked me to be one of what I call the " if I can do it you can too people" in this world. Look, I'm just a girl with a free spirit, a big heart, an honest soul, a likely ADD diagnosis, I love LOVE, I love people, travel, great food, and I just wanted to just be a stay at home Mom with a hot husband who cherished us all. Now That doesn't seem like too much to ask for a good girl like me does it? But it wasn't his plan, it was mine. That part about will says thy will, not my will. So now, I own a small
Business in a small town. Stress but I love it!!!! ! I work as a fitness instructor because I am going to get those classes in and the smartest thing is for it to be another job! That way I have to stay fit! I hate taking out the trash. I suck at changing the filter. I do not want to change out light bulbs in high ceilings. I sure don't want to pay every bill on my own, but guess what???? If I can do it you can too!!! Why do I do what I do?? Well I have a story I got from a fellow, if I can do it you can too person. Forgive me Kevin if its not accurate. But I met this guy about 6-8 years ago. Kevin was a widow with four young kids. He had been married to the love of his life, Claire, for 20 years. She had basically beaten cancer and something happened to take her away suddenly. There in that hospital room, Kevin fell to the floor. I can't even imagine how he must have felt. His priest looked at him and said, get up! You have four kids who just lost their mom and they will do as well as you do. Let me repeat that again, and please think about it for me. They will do as well as you do!! Those words have stayed with me and I
Have used that story many times. You see Kevin was lost, heartbroken, scared and left with 4 kids. That's a lot for 2 parents to juggle but he got up and he did it and friends he Did it well. I have so enjoyed over the years watching his children through social media smile, thrive, and live life! Kevin grieved, yet he himself smiled, thrived, and kept living life so his kids had no other choice. Kevin has helped and reached out to so many other people in his boat. God has used him over and over. I have used those words Over and over to people in various situations. This has been my drive! It's my kids. They do as well as I do. Fact!!!!! If I wallow in self pity, they will. If I sat on my butt and didn't work how would I ever expect them to strive for success? If I had brought men in and out of their lives just so I wouldn't have to be alone what would that do to them? Yes I might have someone paying half the bills but it wouldn't have been the right someone. If I had just waited for someone to save us all, where would we be? I had to save myself and in turn my kids watched and learned. I don't have some fat bank account and my life hasn't been easy. But I have two kids that are doing as well as I did. They are happy healthy smart children. I also learned that God will give me everything I need. That life I thought was falling apart was just my plans falling apart. He had better ones. God continues to show me examples of these people. If you yourself are part of the if I can do it you can too club. Kudos to you. I know there are days it sucks. There are things I see people have to bear that are so unfair. I can't imagine anything worse than having a sick child. But you read their stories and you see them keep their faith and I think if they can do it, I can too. I believe God calls us to just keep sharing because our stories, or the lives that we think have fallen apart are actually experiences that can and will give hope to others. So today I say whatever it is you are facing or you have faced, there is someone else out there facing it too and if they can do it, you can too!!!