So on Saturday, I see one of my friends. She is dressed up and looks amazingly beautiful And I must say she had nailed her look with the right shoes and jewelry. And if I say nailed, Then she nailed!! Now, to just mention her great looks isn't enough. This person has a heart of gold, yet she doesn't take any flack. She is fit, a fabulous mom, a good Friend and she is rocking her career. Yet I watched her stay in a rocky relationship for a big number of years. They would be on and off. He didn't like to go eat fun dinners, she did. He didn't like to take her out, she wanted to go out. He didn't celebrate her or appreciate her like one would think. So she finally ends it and they call it quits. She then found herself dating an Older man. I noticed right away there were some issues there. It was off and on too.
So on Saturday, I tell her how beautiful she looks and that she needs to go out on the town! I made sure she knew she deserved way more than what she was putting up with seeing her beautiful in and out hot rocking self.
She said finally at 50, I am realizing that. See the key is looking at yourself. You can't blame anyone for what you tolerate or have tolerated. She knows this now. Most people never look at their selves and that's the key to really figuring this stuff out. She told me she was married to a man for 15 years who never told her she was pretty or made her feel pretty. Seriously? What is wrong with a man who lands a beautiful woman and he can't even tell her she is pretty? Now I know we need to know it ourselves but we deserve to be told often! So she went out with the older man and realized she tolerated the drama and lies because guess what he did do, amongst all the bad things? He told her she was pretty. She said he made her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the room everywhere they went. Now he lied to her and caused drama but he told her she was pretty! Instead of focusing on him she looked at herself and figured out why she hung around. No mistakes friends. Only lessons. So my thinking is how in the world do women like this end up so cheated? Why do women or men settle? Why do we stay in situations like this? I believe a lot of us fear being alone so apparently we just take what we can get which is crazy or we take back what We had when we knew it wasn't right. How many times have u dated someone who never celebrated you but as soon as u dump them, you become the best thing since sliced bread. All of a sudden they are saying and doing all the things you want to hear. People say you don't know what you've got til it's gone, but I find that to be a crock. If someone can't see you from the get go, then they have the problem! Not you. Move on!! You should be celebrated not tolerated.
Now don't misinterpret what I am
Saying here. There is more to it than talking the talk. You have to
Find someone who talks the talk
And walks the talk. These are two different things. We all know those people who change who they are to land the Christian guy in the front pew. Or the guy who claims to be something he isn't to date the pretty girl he works with. Then there's the ones who say exactly what we want to hear to reel us in. Those people are always going to exist but we need to have our glasses just right to see this. So how do we make sure we are Dating with 20/20 vision?
Well, I learned a long time ago that when one relationship ends, I need to take time to get over it and look at myself and learn to be happy alone. If I jump back in or if I find myself with some rebound person that I call my band aid (if you didn't read my stitch it up blog, it's a must) chances are not in my favor and most likely I'm going in blind. This other person is just there so I can get over the last one. So I don't see the things I should because I'm on the mend.
I have also learned That I have to find my happiness within. If I am looking for another human to make me happy for any reason then I'm going to be disappointed. Another person can only add to my happiness but it's unfair to expect anyone to be it!!
And if I'm Looking for someone to save me, someone to show me the way, omg!! That's where I'm completely screwed. No one can save me or change me. If they do, then it isn't permanent. The only way I can be saved or changed is looking in the mirror, Doing it myself and looking to my God above to guide me.
So yes!! I find it is Sooo important to rely on something greater than myself. Lord knows I've gotten myself in
Some messes thinking I knew what or who was best for me. So I find when I leave it to God that I have a much better shot at it being right. So if all the above is checked off them I'm
Good to go. My vision is clear and the right person and I will find each other and guess what? It will be easy once it happens.
One of my favorite shirts I've gotten in at frolic says... Feed me tacos and tell me I'm pretty! Honestly this stuff isn't Rocket science. If I know who I am! If I am through my pain! If I make myself happy, and if I'm relying on God to show me the way. Seriously, I am a catch and So are you! A woman or man who doesn't need someone else will get what exactly what they deserve. It will most likely take Longer, but it will be worth the wAit. It will be as easy as my favorite tank top. Feed her tacos, tell her she's pretty. Love her, cherish her, and see her for the strong lady she is!! For it takes a strong man to love a strong woman. Hence why it sometimes takes longer for the stronger! Hang on your tacos are coming! So until then go grab them with a friend and look in the mirror and tell yourself you are pretty because guess what?? You are!!!!!