Dating with Dignity...
So unfortunately the "rules" of dating have changed drastically since I started as a teenager. I can remember my Mom always told me, 1. Don't call Boys! ( back then you had to call a home phone and their parent might answer.. You'd have to say nicely, "may I speak to ----?" Of course I still called a few tImes and I can remember just hoping a parent wouldn't answer ! 2. Don't go in their bedrooms. 3. Don't show public affection! 4. Let them ask you out unless it is Sadie Hawkins and 5. No boy can make you happy, that's your job. They can just add to it.
Well 10 years ago I got thrown back in the dating world only to find the rules have sure changed!! Now, I haven't dated a lot, but I have dated enough to know the new and improved rules I will share with my children. So friends, if you have stayed married and not experienced the new rules... Brace yourself for these things. Maybe my experiences can help you a little so you can hear what our kids will be facing which terrifies me. First of all, no one calls anyone. It's all this texting, snapping , or inboxing. So this gives them what I call the texting courage. People text things they wouldn't dare say to you in person. Oh and they also have time to think and make their responses exactly what they think you want to hear. To me, it just isn't personal until you have actually heard the way they talk to you. It makes a difference. So rule 1. Talk to this person before you think you know them!! Rule 2.. Don't go in their rooms, well that's antiquated with All this face timing and videos. Before some of them even get to the room or even go on a date they are asking for pictures or hinting they want to cross a line. If a boy or a girl asks for a picture or sends one of them revealing anything then guess what? That is NOT acceptable. Everytime someone sends or receives a rated R picture or video guess what happens? They loose a little bit of their dignity. Your dignity is your armor. Dignity is what keeps us from doing things we shouldn't do. Dignity reminds us we deserve the very best!! And dignity is telling me that if someoNe asks me for a picture or hints they want something like that! I am
Deleting them!! So I tell my kids.. I don't care how much you think this person likes you. I don't care how much you think you can trust them! I don't care if you think no one will
Ever see it! You never send a picture like this because once it's out there it can and will come back to haunt you!! I also tell them that anyone who asks you to do something like this or sends u one has zero respect for them self or you and it will only hurt you to give in to such a person. Rule 3 don't show public affection. Well now it is.. Don't participate in social media, once you post it, it is out there. Don't tell
The world your personal business or post crazy things. One day you are going to go look for a job and guess what? They can go back and look at your social media. Keep your dignity there too. Be mindful of what you put out there! Breakups or love affairs don't need to be detailed for all to see. I have to add my small pet peeve in here too. I promise you this if I ever do remarry, I'm sure not going to converse with my husband on facebook. Maybe I'm crazy, but I find it so annoying when couples talk to each other through comments or their Facebook walls. Can they not just text it to each other or maybe just tell them in bed that night? Makes me wonder what they are trying to prove 4. Let the boy ask you out and take you to a nice dinner quite a Few times before you think he is your boyfriend. Oh my goodness! All these dating apps! If you are happily married then please today rejoice because you don't have to try this stuff!!!!! So you get a match, and even if they aren't crossing lines, and they appear to be normal which by the way is very rare, then you have tO wonder if they are cyber criminals or better yet planning to meet you then kill you and Bury you in the woods. Dating is NOT texting. Dating is going out and getting to know each other in person. Now we are to 5. That rule hasn't changed. Don't rely on someone else to make you happy. They can only add to it. You have to be happy in your own skin by yourself before you can ever be happy in a relationship. That is a given!! This all goes back to the dignity and it requires self worth. These days it is a lot easier to loose that dignity while dating, and the more dignity you loose, the less self worth one has. Armor up
People! Guard your heart, be smart, and never compromise moral values. God has someone for all of us. That person may be on your bumble app, sitting in your facebook inbox( which I hate btw), or who knows you might get lucky and actually just meet someone walking down the street. The rules have changed, but the basic concept hasn't. Love yourself, love who you are. Recognize if someone rejects you, it isn't you. Don't try to
Convince someone to like you. Don't send them pictures to keep them interested. Just be you!! God has it all mapped out even for us 43 year olds who are having to get on the new dating wagon. Whatever way you
Do this stuff, all
I can say is do it with dignity.