Chivalry Isn't Dead

I have heard many women say, "Chivalry is dead." Until recently I would have agreed. I come to you today with a new perspective after an extensive look at myself and a little venture back into the dreadful dating app world with a new outlook and attitude.
From the moment I became interested in boys, my mom instilled some values in me when it came to the opposite sex. The things I remember her preaching the most were don't call boys, never ask them out nor go in their bedrooms. Of course there weren't cell phones. So to call a boy, one had to actually call a land line, anxiously await the answer and whom it would be, then ask his mom or dad or sibling if he was there if he didn't answer. It was rarely worth it to me. In the days before caller ID, There were times I tried and just hung up, so To say I never broke the rule would be a fib. Although I used caution and I knew it wasn't what I was suppose to do. Most of the time, I let the boys do the calling, and I always let him do the asking, but Mostly I didn't call. I allowed him to call me. I sure didn't ask him to take me out or "go with me". It was a boys place to do the asking. As it was their place to take me out and to open the door for me.
Today things seem to have changed. With cell phones, social media, and Snapchat it is all different. I don't think it is a good different either. I have decided that chivalry isn't dead. I believe that women are killing it. I believe that so many women are not giving men an opportunity to even be chivalrous.
Living in the 9th worst city in the country to be single( yes it's a real google study) I honestly havent ever been a big dater , but I hear it daily in my store how crappy men are. And yes, If I have said it once, I've said it 100 times, there are not any good men left. Well today I disagree! I am finding they are out there. So single ladies, I give you hope and. Little of my two cents worth. Take what you like and leave the rest.
I recently spoke to an old friend who made a comment about women that really ticked me off, but I hear the same thing in different words from women about men all the time. He said, all women are good for is sex and cooking. Now this same guy recently went on a date with a girl whom he said had been driving him crazy to go out with her. She thought they would have a good relationship. Well in my opinion, if you are the kind of woman who tries to convince a man to take you out, then maybe that is why they look at you like that, and if you are a guy that goes out with someone so desperate then guess what? You aren't getting a woman who values herself so how do you expect her to Be good for much more? Oh and did I mention that she picked him up? Now ladies, I feel a man should pursue you, and want to take you out without you forcing it to happen or asking him to do it. A man should ask you on the date, and he should pick you up unless like me you are crazy and trying a dating app and don't want to end up in a trunk so you meet them. But, if you know him, then please let him pick you up, open the door for you, and buy your meal. I am sorry if you are so feminist you think That is crazy. I am a single mom, small business owner who has supported myself and my kids on my own for 11 years. Honestly, it's not that fun and I'm All about women's rights, but I'm not so crazy that I won't welcome a man who wants to treat me to a meal and value me as a woman. I have recently redefined my own value system. I have looked deeply into my morals and my values and I am going back to the basics my mom taught me years ago. Now, as for this dreaded dating app, I have a cute profile. Not to brag, but I look good for 44. I get a lot of connections and guess what? Not one connection has made any crazy nude pic requests. Yes that has happened to me a lot in the past, and I find it pitiful. I can't even take a good selfie dressed, so I don't intend on sending any naked ones to someone I barely Know. Apparently There are quite a bit of woman doing it. That's your prerogative, but I find It desperate and not in my value system. A man who asks for a picture isn't the kind of man I want in my life. I also don't text first. If a man wants to talk
To me, he will talk
To me. I am going to start out letting him
Be the man. I'm going to give him the dignity to take the lead because I want to find a good man. A good man takes care of the people he loves. A good man does nice things. A good man pursues a woman he wants to get to Know. So I prefer a good one. I've had enough of the bad ones in my life. I'm just fine on my own, so I sure don't need Anything other than the best, because that is what We all deserve. I haven't had a lot of chit chat on my app becAuse I initiate nothing, but I have had a couple great dates with really nice guys. Why is this? BecAuse I will attract nice ones because if I value myself others will as well. We attract whAt we are. I believe that if a man likes you, he wlll so whatever necessary to keep you around. Be aware of the men who wAnt to keep you on a string. If you really like a guy ladies, you can't just be his friend until he decides he wants to date you. Nor should you hang around waiting on him to commit. If he likes you, there won't be any question. You Wont Need to investigate and stalk
His likes or social media. You will know it without a doubt. Don't wait around on a man who doesn't see how great you Are. There are men who will give you just enough to keep you around just in case they need you or want something from you. Trust me, This can go on for years if you let it. Put a halt to it, God has one for you who will love, respect, and treasure you and time is wasted on men who don't value you! I believe you need to be appreciative and responsive to these kind of Men. They are treasures too. Men need respect, and if a man is being a man, you will respect him. It's that simple. Women want to be loved and treasured, and If a women establishes a value system and sticks to it, she will be loved and treasured. This stuff isn't Rocket science. Women today are too forward, and they need to stop blaming men for not doing the things that they are actually preventing them from doing because like my friends date, they are too busy snapping men pictures, texting, and stalking them on social media to even allow chivalry to take place. That poor girl was too busy going after him to even let him be the man I know my friend is capable of being. Ladies, do me a favor. Look into your value system. Make a list of the things you want in a relationship. Learn to give those things to yourself. Value yourself then give all the good men left out there a chance to be a good man. Stop killing chivalry ladies or at least stop complAining when you don't get it. We get what we allow ourselves to get.

1 comment

  • Le Traylor

    I heartily agree that we, as women, need to allow men to be chivalrous. Most recently I had brunch with a male friend and as we approached the restaurant door I, walking slightly in front of him, stepped to the side and stopped. After a brief moment of hesitation, he smiled and opened the door for me to enter. My expectation was that I deserved that courtesy and allowed him to be the gentleman I knew he was.
    Your precious mother was correct on all counts with her lessons! I’m positive she is looking down proudly that you are living a virtuous life.

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